Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize