why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
