it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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