I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize