I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
