Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
