Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
