How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
