Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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