things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
