I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
