I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
