yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize