She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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