i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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