It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize