kristin has been a bad kristin
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
