i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
