love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
