So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
