forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
