i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize