you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
