My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Even my vagina gasped.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My vagina just clenched in fear
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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