I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
