Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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