We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
