yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
