I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
