what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Randomize
