Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
