i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
