So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
