so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
