I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
