he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
