yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
