Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
