i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize