Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
