Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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