I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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