I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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