dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
