i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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