you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
