**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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