im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize