No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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