Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize