There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
