im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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