Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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