When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Quick, to the slutcave!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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