What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
foreskin is a definite game changer
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
