Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
