Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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