problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
They are going to name an STD after you.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
