Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
