Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
