i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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