If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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