Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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