Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
