My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
