Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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